Not “Mexican” enough

           Growing up, I always felt like people were easily able to distinguish that I was Hispanic. No one ever guessed wrong. But now that I am older, people have a hard time believing that I am Hispanic, more specifically, Mexican. Is it my lighter-than-most Hispanic complexion or that I speak perfect English? Or maybe that I am 5’9 and not shorter?

            Yesterday, I had someone tell me that I did not look Hispanic at all and that I was simply “too tall” to be Mexican. And then he began to speak Spanish with an American accent slowly to me so that I could understand. And that hurt me. It hurt me a lot. I answered his questions in complete Spanish to show him that I understand and could speak Spanish. I tried to answer with a confident tone even though I was trying my best to hold back my tears.

            It feels like I am being stabbed in my heart when people question or doubt that I am Mexican. It is MY identity. I LOVE BEING MEXICAN. It irks me to the point of extreme anger as well as sad tears when people cannot recognize my ethnicity and respect that I do not fit the stereotype of a “Mexican”.

            How dare anyone question who anyone else is? I am disappointed in myself for letting comments like that get to me. But I cannot help it. I want to be identified for who I am, for the country that my parents come from and ancestors thrived in, for the traditions that my culture has, for the ethnicity that I am proud of and love so dearly.

            After having some time to think about those hurtful comments, I have realized how important it is to use this motivation to get through hardships and through moments when I need an extra push. YES, I am MEXICAN. I AM light-skinned. I AM educated. I AM 5’9 AND A HALF! What do you have to say about that? I break stereotypes wherever I go.